Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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