SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
