he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
