Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
