I think I am morally bankrupt
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
