We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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