There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
