Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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