Apparently you make a good broom.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
