Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
