Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
