i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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