Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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