I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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