Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
