allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
