I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
