So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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