Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
