If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
