like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
