the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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