I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
