Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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