3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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