Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
