I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
