Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
