peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
