I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
