You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize