That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
