did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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