Do you still have your period?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
