And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
