he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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