My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
