I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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