Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
