"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
