Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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