did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
