I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
