ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
