Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

What happened to our ballroom dancing plans

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(602): View more from Arizona

no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.

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(212): View more from New York

Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.

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(415): View more from California

just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.

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(410): View more from Maryland

In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub

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(269): View more from Michigan

We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.

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(561): View more from Florida

I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH

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