why do cheetos always look like penises
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
