Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
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See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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