zippers are such a cool invention
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
