I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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