i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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