"it" just moved
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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