Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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