My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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