Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
