He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Boobs speak an international language.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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