How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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