My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
