Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
