If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
