i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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