Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my being single is dangerous.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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